Judefaquotes

Tea Party Jesus speaks here for Bill O’Reilly. In other posts on this inspired blog Jesus speaks for any number of other whackos who have bent Christianity to their own ends. Clicking on the images takes you to the source of the words - they’re real. After all, you couldn’t make this stuff up.

(Source: teapartyjesus)

∞04:06 am, reblogged by kg13 ∩49 |
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To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.

Leonard Bernstein

∞02:57 am, reblogged by kg13 ∩78 |
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[quotes] [wisdom]

Happiness is a butterfly which when pursued is just out of grasp… But if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

Nathaniel Hawthorne (via tapwaterjackson)

OK David, I’ll sit and wait then

∞07:24 pm, reblogged by kg13 ∩462 |
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[happiness] [quotes]

overthetrail: Photo by Matjaz Cater, also here

“To consult the rules of composition before making a picture is a little like consulting the law of gravitation before going for a walk.”

— Edward Weston

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∞05:50 am, reblogged by kg13
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[images] [photography] [quotes]

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Source

∞10:50 pm, by kg13 ∩17 | Comments

[quotes] [god]

“[Cronkite was] the most trusted man in America. But here’s the thing, that title wasn’t bestowed on him by a network.
We weren’t told to believe it by some advertising campaign. It was earned.

It was earned by year after year and decade after decade of painstaking effort; a commitment to fundamental values; his belief that the American people were hungry for the truth, unvarnished and unaccompanied by theater or spectacle.

[Cronkite’s standard was] a little bit harder to find today [with] instant commentary and celebrity gossip and the softer stories that Walter disdained…
’What happened today?’ is replaced with ‘Who won today?’

The public debate cheapens.”

Barack Obama (via mattpayton)

∞06:09 am, reblogged by kg13 ∩11 |
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[media] [news] [obama] [quotes] [tv] [cronkite]

The danger of illegalising marijuana … is that you make criminals
out of the most intelligent and sensitive people in the country.

Allen Ginsberg

∞07:32 am, by kg13 ∩1 | Comments

[quotes] [ginsberg]

(Spotted at Aline’s)

∞01:45 am, by kg13 ∩13 | Comments

[bukowski] [quotes]

On a personal level, Freaking Out is a process whereby an individual casts off outmoded and restricting standards of thinking, dress, and social etiquette in order to express CREATIVELY his relationship to his immediate environment and the social structure as a whole.

Frank Zappa

∞06:59 pm, by kg13 ∩14 | Comments

[quotes] [zappa] [freaking out] [counterculture]

If God was a woman, sperm would have tasted of chocolate” .. Stephen Fry

(via elledark)

~

No, he’s got it wrong and anyway he’s gay, so how would he know?

If sperm were to taste like chocolate, which I’m told it doesn’t, it would be proof that (a) there IS a God and (b) God is male and always has an eye to the main chance where pleasure is concerned.
God is, in every way I can think of, a projection of MALE fantasies and projections, Mr Fry.
The female “God” is Gaia, upon whom Onan spilled his seed, or sauce.
And did she admonish anyone about it? No, she lapped it up. No bullshit guilt involved.

∞06:48 am, reblogged by kg13 ∩11 |
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[God] [sperm] [chocolate] [quotes]

America's dumbest decade yet?

The decade 2000-2009 in America, reduced to 10 quotes.

I’ll just snip a voice for the rich

“$500,000 is not a lot of money, particularly if there is no bonus.” —Wall Street compensation consultant James Reda on Feb. 3, 2009, giving the New York Times a good example of just how totally out of touch the super-rich really are.

and one for the poor

“Keep your government hands off my Medicare.” —Anti-health care protester at an August 2009 congressional town hall meeting in South Carolina—the single most succinct sign that our country has become an Idiocracy.

Go here for the rest; here for the full article

∞12:40 am, by kg13 ∩3 | Comments

[america] [quotes] [rich] [2000-2009]

We shouldn’t teach great books; we should teach a love of reading.

B. F. Skinner (via psychotherapy) (via libraryland) (via booklover)

I think we need both

∞07:22 pm, reblogged by kg13 ∩299 |
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[books] [reading] [quotes]

(via misswallflower)

Appropriate find for the time, since I try to make myself scarce at Christmas.

Chrissie wouldn’t have been fun with me and Buk, but at least we’re honest.

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∞12:37 am, reblogged by kg13 ∩344 |
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[bukowski] [quotes] [misanthropy]

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory,
like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Garrison Keillor

∞09:55 pm, by kg13 ∩8 | Comments

[quotes] [garrison keillor] [christmas]

Seriously. Jesus started the whole “wait three days” thing. He waited THREE days to come back to life.

It was perfect! If he had only waited ONE day, a lot of people wouldn’t have even heard that he died.

They’d be all, “Hey Jesus, what up?” and Jesus would probably be like, “What up? I DIED yesterday!” and then they’d be all, “Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude…” and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and then the dude would be like “Uh okayy, whatever you say, bro…”

And he’s not gonna come back on a SATURDAY. Everybody’s busy, doing chores, workin’ the loom, trimmin’ the beard, NO.

He waited the exact right number of days, THREE.

Plus it’s SUNDAY, so everyone’s in church already, they’re all in there “Oh no, Jesus is DEAD”, then BAM!

He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle, everyone’s totally psyched, and FYI, that’s when he invented the high five.

Three days. We wait three days to call a woman, because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait…. True story.”

Barney Stinson - How I Met Your Mother

(via yolo115)

∞08:23 am, reblogged by kg13 ∩10 |
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[quotes] [jesus] [three days] [barney stinson]